


rosebud

by saraheli



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Break Up, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Getting Back Together, Post-Break Up, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-06-11 06:00:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15308985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saraheli/pseuds/saraheli
Summary: You and Wonho had barely been separated for a month before things started to crumble, and though you would like to blame all of the lacking resolves on the forced interactions over your shared puppy, you know there’s so much more to your bloomed-again feelings than that.





	rosebud

Things had never been simple for you and Wonho. Your relationship had started broken; well, maybe not  _ broken _ , but definitely separated into pieces. Your relationship began when he was away overseas, and you were busy with your own working life. Your honeymoon phase happened through the phone, video calls from different continents, and long messages about how much better things would be when you could really be together in the real world. 

When you went to meet him at the airport the day of his return, it felt like you were floating. He caught you in his arms and held you close, ignoring the teasing coos of his friends as he finally tasted your presence since being able to call you his. He had breathed you in that day, hoping to swallow you up and keep you inside of him forever.

But as time went on, things became strange. Even when you were together, two lovers living in the same home, you could feel that familiar sting of loneliness prickling in the base of your stomach. You watched him almost absently from across rooms and tables and wrinkled bed sheets, but seeing wasn’t enough for you. You were frustrated; even after all of this time, it felt like you were still waiting for him to come back home. 

So, you searched for solutions. You two already lived together, so that was out of the question, but how could you bring him closer without having a baby or running away together? 

“I want a dog,” you’d said one day. You hadn’t planned to say it, but the words slipped from your lips as you dumped veggies into your pan to cook them. 

“Sorry?” Wonho looked up from setting the table in the other room, almost surprised to hear your voice. “You want a puppy?”

“Yeah,” you confirmed, slowly mixing everything on the stove. “Would you...would that be something you’d be interested in?”

You looked over and watched his face begin to twinkle with the excitement brimming in his eyes, “Yeah, yeah, of course.” He grinned, giggling a little to himself as he continued to set your places. “What kind are you thinking?”

You shrugged, “I don’t know yet. I just...If I’m being honest, I wanted something else that could keep us connected, and, if it can be another life in our little family, then that’s a huge plus. I’ll look at them all.” 

His smile became even wider, and, for the first time since your hug in the airport, you felt hopeful for your future with him. 

Which, inevitably, was in vain after all.

You didn’t want to keep the apartment after things ended, but what choice did you have? You could barely pay your way to find this place let alone find an all new building and roommate. No way, you were staying here and sticking it out with the painful nostalgia and heartache until you had the money to go somewhere else. It was bearable when Rosebud was with you, at least. A bright and perfect corgi puppy, she was sweet and energetic and blissfully distracting from your thoughts on the long evenings after you got home from work every day. Things didn’t go nearly as well when she was gone especially on pickup day.

When you and Wonho split, the two of you uneasily agreed on a schedule so that you could both see her despite no longer living together. It was, and remains, a difficult decision to make and maintain, especially because every time he came to pick her up, you had to stop yourself from throwing yourself into his arms and begging to know what went wrong. 

You knew what went wrong; you were both busy and tired and too immature to put in the effort in spite of such circumstances. You were both exhausted by your work, and you wanted nothing more than to try again. Losing him had been losing your best friend and your home both because now your “home” had nothing warm about it that remained. 

One day in particular really messed with you. He was late, and, when he showed up at your door, he was dressed nicer than usual. 

“Interview today?” You asked in a lame attempt at minimal conversation. 

Wonho cocked an eyebrow, kneeling to let Rosebud attack him playfully. “No, why?”

You shrugged, “You’re just dressed up.”

“Oh,” he rubbed behind the dog’s ears. “I um, I actually had a lunch date today.” He said quietly. 

“Oh,” you said. “Well, I put all of her toys in the bag, and, um, she’s been needing to go out more frequently, just, so, just remember that.” You felt your cheeks burning with a mixture of stupidity and a wish that he would get the hell out so that you could sigh in peace. 

He got to his feet, weaving Rosebud’s leash between his fingers. He bit his lip and watched you for a moment. The way that you tucked your hair behind your ear and the rosy of your cheekbones was just how he remembered; he could taste your nervousness from three feet away. He missed you, and he missed being able to just ask what was wrong without feeling awkward or already knowing exactly what was wrong i.e. him. 

“I guess I’ll see you on Friday, then,” he replied after a beat or two of silence. He licked his lips anxiously and took the dog out of your apartment. 

A lunch date. You stared blankly at the television that night, waiting for something else to catch your attention, but your chest felt like it was trying to tear itself away from the rest of your body and run back to him, but what would it bring? Heartache, coupled loneliness, and more nights of awkward silence over dinner. More nights of nothing to talk about and long texts back and forth. More sadness from longing after him for so damn long only to be allotted a piece when he was supposed to be all yours. Maybe you could have talked more, too, but the phone goes both ways, after all. You wondered if he didn’t want you to know him. You wondered if he bothered to know you either. 

When he returned to your place on Friday, you were much more reserved. You made no attempt at small talk and took Rosebud back as quickly as you could. The exchange went almost entirely without event, but Wonho paused on his way out, seemingly studying you for a moment. 

“Are you alright? You seem...quiet,” he said. He pressed his lips into a thin line at his own words, noticing a bit too late the irony of them. 

You laughed once through your nose, “I’m fine. Just tired. Long week.”

He cleared his throat, “Right…”

“How was your date the other day?”

“You mean last week?”

You made a face, “No, the other one you told me about.”

Wonho chuckled a little, loosening up slightly at your snippiness. “Right, well, it was, uh, fine. It was fine. I don’t think I’ll see her again if that’s what you’re asking.”

It was. “Oh, no, I was just curious…” you were trying to assure yourself as much as you were trying to convince him. “I’m sorry it didn’t go too well.” 

Wonho watched Rosebud as she plowed her tiny face into your rug, and he laughed, a smile gracing his features. You smiled, too, and watched the puppy rough around. You hugged yourself inside your sweatshirt, and Wonho turned his attention onto you. His date last week had gone poorly simply because he couldn’t get the image of you out of his head. He knew that he was too busy to give you—or anyone, really—the time you deserved from him. He knew that he was too afraid to let you as far in as you wanted to go; he was afraid of loving you so deeply, and, now that you were gone, he was afraid of letting you get too far. 

He stood there in your doorway for a few minutes just enjoying being with you before he shook himself slightly for it. 

“I should—”

“Do you want to stay for dinner?” 

Wonho raised his eyebrows at you, but your gaze was still firmly locked on the dog. 

“What?”

“I mean, you came all this way, and it’s late, and I know you haven’t got any food wherever you’re living,” you shrugged. “You should stay. Hang out with Rosie a little longer. I have enough for us both.” 

His lips parted, and, when you finally looked back at him again, it felt like the breath had been knocked from his lungs. 

“You are perfectly welcome to say no. I know it would be weird, and my heart started beating really fast the minute I suggested it,” you told him frankly, all resolve leaving you as your nerves took over in a strange combination of awkwardness and openness. “I don’t even know why I said it, I mean of course you—”

“I want to stay,” Wonho interrupted you. “I...You’re right, I have no food at home.”

You relaxed slightly and nodded, looking back to where Rosebud was curled up on the couch as if waiting expectantly for the two of you to just get on with it already.

That dinner was the beginning of something new. It wasn’t a rehashing of all of the mistakes you two had made, or all of your shortcomings; it was fresh. It was like the beginning of your relationship without the barrier of distance or time zones or phone screens separating the two of you. You let the tension melt that night, and he began staying for dinner every week when he dropped off Rosebud to your place. Soon it was a regularity, and soon dinners became breakfasts and lunches and evenings on the town. You felt closer to him than ever before, and you could truly thank your puppy for that. 

“You know what’s funny?” You began one morning over brunch at your kitchen counter. “I wanted Rosie because I thought she would bring us closer, and, technically, even though we broke up between there and here, she did.” You grinned proudly, and Wonho laughed, tossing a look to the dog where she begged for scraps at your feet. 

“Yes, technically, you were right,” he leaned forward to press his lips to yours in a gentle peck. “And, believe me, I am so glad you were.”


End file.
